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If you’ve been following the Thought for the Week for more than just this year, this heading will be familiar. I’m sure it is as relevant as it was the first time we talked about it.
Do you find yourself “just checking” social media … and only looking up half an hour later? How do you feel when you have to put it away to study? It is so hard, right?
The reason it is so hard, is that your brain reacts to social media like it reacts to gambling and drugs. You get physically and emotionally addicted. When you get a “like” or a mention or a reaction, the reward area in the brain lights up – the same kind of reaction as caused by cocaine. (Click here to find out more: https://www.addictioncenter.com/drugs/social-media-addiction/.)
These reward centres of the brain also come alive when we talk about ourselves. In real life, people talk about themselves around 30% to 40% of the time. On social media, it’s 80% of the time! When you then get positive feedback, the reward centre is activated… and you want it again and again.
Social media addiction looks much like any other addiction: It changes your moods. It becomes the only thing you can think of. You get physical and emotional withdrawal symptoms when it’s taken away. It creates conflict with people around you. You cannot stop – even if you try, you fall back into it time and again.
The problem for a student, of course, is that it eats up your time, and at this point in the year, you cannot allow that to happen.
What to do?!
You will get bored with our message, because it’s always the same: you can do it! Use these simple practical guidelines to control the temptation:
- Turn off sound notifications.
- Only check social media in time marked “free time” on your schedule.
- Do not download social media apps on your computer.
- Keep them on the phone only, so that you draw a clear line between work and play.
- Put away your phone when you study.
- Put away your phone for meals and for family time.
- Switch your phone to silent when you’re sleeping.
The owners of social media platforms spend billions to make them as attractive and addictive as possible. Don’t beat yourself up if you get drawn in. Remember the Alcoholics Anonymous slogan: one day at a time. Just for today: stay in control.
Like alcohol and drugs and gambling, social media addiction steals your time and your energy. It has another characteristic in common with those other addictive substances: it affects your mental health, often changing the way you are in the world. There are probably many reasons for this, but the two that stand out for me are the way it leads to comparisons, and the lows people will descend to on these platforms.
Comparisons first. People post only their best pictures. You see a highlight reel, not the everyday stuff, and definitely not the flops and disappointments. In comparison, your own life may look boring at best and like a complete failure at worst. Do not go there. Your life, your real life, from moment to moment, is valuable and worth while. Always remember that what you see are only the highlights. Your life also has those, but it is not all of it – not for anyone.
Secondly, people will say things on social media that they (at least most of them, I hope!) would not dream of saying in real life. It can get incredibly nasty and bitchy, and you may be tempted to join in because of a weird kind of thrill in allowing your darkest side out into the open. Try not to fall into that. It can only make you unhappy. If you become the target, on the other hand, turn it off, don’t pay attention. You are bigger than that. I know it’s much easier said than done, but … yes, you can. Otherwise it can quite literally drive you mad. One can live without social media.
You may find this podcast (https://iono.fm/e/1471140) interesting – it’s an interview with a South African guy who is now a full-time comedian, who overcame addiction to alcohol and drugs. One of the points he makes is something we have also said before: if we want to change a habit, we have to surround ourselves with people who also want the “new” changed habit and routine, both for themselves and for you. Find friends who share your goals and your dreams. They will help you get there faster. We’ll talk more about this next time.
Happy studying!
The GRAD team
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