If you’d rather listen to this newsletter, click here.
This week we’re talking deep stuff that few of us will acknowledge, even to ourselves, but most of us have experienced: fear of failure. That paralysing conviction that you’ll never be able to do this, whatever “this” is. You’ll never understand calculus, or the Middle English poem you have to write an essay on, or the physics concept that was introduced in your last class. In the bigger picture, you’ll never be able to master all the work you have to in order to pass this year. You’ll fail, lose the bursary, never get the degree.
It’s hard to see it written down like that, right? But that’s the first step to dealing with that fear: you have to face it. Here are some basic tips to help you get out of that dreadful, draining darkness.
- Acknowledge and accept your fear:
Fear of failure is a common and natural emotion. You do not have to be ashamed of it. On the contrary, it can help you define your focus areas. As long as you try and suppress it, it eats away at your energy and your confidence. Face it. “Name it to tame it,” says psychiatrist Daniel Siegel. Ask yourself: what exactly am I afraid of? The Greek philosopher Socrates said, “The fear is greater than the threat.” Simply spelling it out for yourself may rob it of much of its power. - Focus on what you can control:
You cannot control the questions in the next test, but you can control how much time and effort you spend on your preparation. Think of practical steps you can take to achieve success. Make a timetable for your studies if you haven’t yet. Spend an extra hour at your desk every day. Ask AI to explain the concept you cannot get your head around. - Take action:
Don’t let fear paralyse you. The more you take action, the more confident and resilient you will become. Work out a plan and set it in motion. - Set realistic and achievable goals:
Start with small, manageable goals, like really understanding one concept in Business Science. Once you feel you have mastered it, ask AI to formulate 5 questions so you can test yourself. Then enjoy the success. Be realistic in formulating your goals. If you failed your last Accounting test, you will probably not get 70% for the next one. Make your goals realistic and work hard to achieve them. - Be kind to yourself:
Don’t beat yourself up for being “stupid” or “lazy” or “just dumb”. You’ll only make it worse. To quote the poem Desiderata: “Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.” Take action, do something, as we said above, but also be kind to yourself. We are all only human. - Seek support:
If necessary, reach out to the support services on campus or to a trusted older person, either for practical help with the specific problem or psychological support to get through this difficult patch. Life can be hard. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, only a strong person can admit that they need help. - Try meditation.
This may feel like really left-field, but it can be enormously helpful. You will find a 5-minute introductory podcast here.
Hang in there. Others have walked this road. You can too.
Happy studying!
The GRAD team
———————————————————
Click here to check out our other podcasts
If you like our content, forward and share!
GRAD – your guide to university success is a partnership project of Ruda Landman, StudyTrust, Van Schaik Publishers and Capitec Bank.