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We’re continuing a conversation that actually started three weeks ago, on 19 January, when we sent you a slightly longer newsletter titled “It’s up to me … and I can.” That was based on interviews for a podcast series called Change in One Generation – the stories of people just like you, who came from difficult circumstances and found their way to success. They all made one point: you have to accept that your life is your responsibility. The outside world is not going to do it for you. But then there was a wonderful second message: you can. If you put in the work, you can change your future.
Last week’s newsletter built on that with the idea of the “double-edged sword of freedom” – as a student, you have all the choice in the world, but the outcomes are also your responsibility.
Success has two essential ingredients: a belief in yourself, and hard work. The hard work sounds logical, right? Not much to surprise you there. Believing in yourself may be a new idea – and it is essential. Why? Here’s a poem called Thinking by Walter D. Wintle, which answers that question:
If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you’d like to win, but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch that you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost,
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will –
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you’re outclassed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise;
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late the man who wins,
Is the one who thinks he can.
That goes for women too, of course – it’s an old, old-fashioned poem.
Often we don’t believe we can because we think that our circumstances make it impossible. We feel like the person in this picture:
As the caption says, it’s very human to feel powerless against forces outside your control – circumstances, social structures, specific people, even fate or God.
Life is often hard. Life is not always fair. But as long as you see yourself as helpless in the face of your circumstances, you give away all your power. As the poem says, “the man who wins/Is the one who thinks he can.” The moment you start saying “I can” instead of “I can’t”, you take back your power and make everything possible. Your decisions, everything you do, are yours to celebrate – or sometimes to regret and learn from. One recent graduate wrote: “The world does not owe me anything. However my life turns out is up to me. Yes I have no control over some things, but how I feel about situations and how I react all depends on me.” Do watch this video in the series The Real Talk with Zuby, which we also referred to last week. He explains it simply and well.
Now go back to the picture above. The first half of every one of those statements may be true. The second half is up to you. Here’s a tool to help you find a way to deal with these stumbling blocks. Make two columns, like this:
| Things I believe are holding me back | How I can overcome them |
| I have no space to study. | I can go to the library. |
| My mom is sick. I have to visit regularly, but it costs money. | I can put away a little every week, so that by the end of the month I have the taxi fare. |
One way to find options for the second column is to use the brand new AI tools that are becoming available now. You might try ChatGPT, Google’s Gemini or DeepSeek. Ask something like: “Please suggest solutions for my problem of having noisy roommates preventing me from studying enough to pass.” We did that and received 15 different suggestions!
Having a plan does wonders for stress. Take back your power. Say, “I can.” You’ll see, you’ll prove yourself right.
The GRAD team
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GRAD – your guide to university success is a partnership project of Ruda Landman, StudyTrust, Van Schaik Publishers and Capitec Bank.